Thursday, July 11, 2013

The time that I ...

This is the story about the time that I threw my sister-in-law's keys into the dumpster.

It was early Fall of 2012. My sister-in-law (Kristin) was on bedrest, being pregnant with her 3rd child. I tried to work my schedule so I could help out with her other two kids at least once a week. So I went to her house and decided I'd be nice and take out her trash for her before we went anywhere. Or maybe it was when we got back from where I took the kids. I can't remember. But it is important to remember that these were not my keys -- they were Kristin's.

So I have the keys hooked onto my finger so I won't drop them. I pulled the garbage bag out of the garbage can and started tying up the top. As I made a knot, the keys fell off my fingers and straight to the bottom of the garbage bag. Really??

Now - you may be asking, "Lynnette, why didn't you just put the keys in your pocket while you did this?" Well, yes, that seems logical. But I remember being in a hurry. And I have a slight paranoia that I am going to lose keys. Since these were not my keys, I wanted to keep them in my hand so I wouldn't lose them or lock them in the car. (I was using Kristin's car since it had the two carseats in it).

Back to the keys in the bottom of the garbage bag. They had hit something slimy on the way down, and I was super grossed out. Not having kids yet, I am not used to touching slimy things and being okay with it. But, being in a hurry, I mustered up my courage. I rolled up my sleeve and reached in the bag, using all my maneuvering capabilities to not touch other garbage in the bag. My arm came out of the bag untouched, but my hand had grossness on it. I quickly washed my hands and used a rag to wash the keys. I also put a teensy bit of soap on the rag so I could feel like I was washing the actual germs off the keys.

Okay! Back on track!! I tie up the bag and take it out to the mostly-full dumpster. I hooked those trusty keys on my fingers again, thinking they wouldn't fall off. (You would think I would've learned by now, right?) I toss the bag up and over the ledge, and in falls the trash bag and IN fly the keys! REALLY?? This was not happening. This is one of those movie moments that I think never happen in real life. And it just happened. I simply stood there on tip-toe, trying to peer in the dumpster, praying they had just landed right on top of something and I could simply reach over and pull them out.

Not the case.

I could not see them anywhere. Luckily, I'm part-ninja. I climbed up the side of the dumpster and looked in. I could see the keys!!! They were sitting right on top of a piece of cardboard, that was teetering on top of two skeewompy-placed trash bags. Also, they were right in the middle of the dumpster. They couldn't be near a side - no. Smack in the middle - teetering - ever so near to falling to the abyss at the bottom of the dumpster.

This is when the true panic set in. There was no way I was going to be able to get the keys on my own.

Many options went flew through my head:
1. Stand on the side of the dumpster and dangle my niece/nephew by the leg so they can grab the keys. (Yes, this was the first thing I thought of.)
2. Just ask for the second pair of keys -- I wasn't sure if there was a second set.
3. Find a rope and use it as leverage so I can just kind of lower myself in to get the keys - but how would I get back out?
4. Just jump in and hope for the best.
5. Call Steven (the hubby) and see if he can help me ...

Well, I went with option 5. It's obviously the most rational option. But I remember he was doing something so I wasn't sure if he would be available. Luckily he was. And I know that he probably laughed at me the entire way over to help of the ridiculous-ness of the situation. (Please keep in mind that my 4 year old niece heard me telling Steve over the phone what happened, and she immediately ran upstairs to tell her mom. There was no chance of keeping the embarrassment to myself...Thank goodness Kristin has a sense of humor!)

Well, after looking at the keys and dumpster together, we came up with a way to step on certain trash bags/piles so that we wouldn't make the keys totter off their little ledge. It took some serious Indiana Jones skills - I felt like I was in the cave with him finding the holy grail, making sure I step on the right letters...trash.We eventually got them out and all goodness was restored to life!

I'm so thankful for my husband that will make fun of my silliness for a second, but then help me get out of what I got myself into. He's a real catch!!!

I'm hoping to make this "The time that I..." a regular thing. I just realized there are way too many ridiculous situations that need to be recorded. And maybe my friends/family will join in. I think it will be fun to look back and laugh!

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