Friday, September 12, 2014

Our journey to bring baby to our family.

Just a warning that this post is super-duper long. I tried to break it up with pictures so it's not just a bunch of text on a page. I debated making it two posts, but it didn't make sense to break it up. I hope you enjoy reading about some of our journey to bring our sweet baby to our family.

I recently realized that I never really shared much about our journey of bringing baby to our family. I was ready to start sharing about our wait and frustrations with the world...and then we got pregnant! I still thought that it would be relevant to share our story because it's a serious and common issue that I don't think gets enough attention.

So here is Steve and Lynnette's story of bringing baby to our family.

We start in March of 2012. We just bought our first home and I was one month away from graduating with my bachelor's degree. It was such an exciting time of change and anticipation of what our future held. We had been using birth control for our first four years of marriage. Since I was about to graduate, and we had just bought our first home, we decided it was time to start trying to fill our home with the little pitter-patter of little feet on our wood floors. I make it sound like it was a snap decision, but we had been praying and pondering if it was the right time for us for a while. We felt like the time was right. And even though I think one will rarely feel completely "ready" for a family, we felt we were generally ready emotionally, financially, and spiritually.

My life looks so full of promise and fulfilled plans!
Also, that little girl thinks I'm crazy...

Well, as you can imagine (since I'm telling the story) it didn't happen right away. After about 6-ish months of trying, I told my lady doctor that we were trying but it hadn't happened yet. He told me that it can take many couples an average of between 6-12 months to actually get pregnant. The timing has to be just right and blah, blah, blah. I believed him and I still do. He said to let him know when it had been about a year of trying, and if it still hadn't happened he would tell us about some options for moving forward. I felt listened to and more confident leaving that appointment.

The year mark rolled around and hubby and I were getting quite frustrated. I think because my doctor had told me that at a year we would talk about options, it made me think that I was broken because I had hit the year mark with no results. Obviously, I'm not broken. It's just our journey. But at that time of frustration and confusion, I was upset. I prayed so much, and I cried a lot too.

I called the doctor and found out that he had gone to a different practice. Whaaaat?? I totally didn't know what to do. I ended up going to a different doctor at the same practice that had the soonest appointment I could get. (Luckily, I love that new doctor something fierce.) He did an ultrasound and told me it looked like I had PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). Uhmm, I had no clue what it was (I still can't really explain it fully), but the doctor didn't seem too worried that it would completely prevent me from actually getting pregnant. He tried a few simple rounds of Clomid to see if that would help make sure I ovulated at the right time. Nothing happened after a few months. He referred me and hubs to a fertility specialist in the area.

Our very first home!
Now, this is the part where it gets fuzzy. I think Steve and I were scared to go to the fertility doctor. I think we were scared that one of us would have something severely wrong that would completely dampen and/or extinguish our hope of having a family biologically. We weren't against adoption or other options, but like many couples, we wanted to know our options for biological children.

After nearly a year of putting it off, we went in for a consultation with the fertility doctor. I really liked him, which put my mind at ease. He told us that anything we do is up to us, and we don't have to do any tests/procedures/treatments that we aren't comfortable with. They put us in control of the situation, which felt great since we had felt like we were in control of nothing for the past almost 2 years.

How long will our journey be?
Steve finally went in for his test, and his results came back normal and with flying colors. I had my initial ultrasound and they confirmed the PCOS and we talked about possible treatments and what the next steps could be. Again, they made sure I understood everything and then put the decision into our hands. It was spectacular.

We decided to move forward with the first treatment option they talked to me about - a round of Metformin. This was another pill to hopefully make me ovulate at the correct time. It is a pill that's actually used for people with diabetes, but they had found that it also makes women more fertile in some cases.

I waited the allotted time after taking the pills, took the ovulation tests on the right cycle days, and I still hadn't had a positive ovulation result. I called the doctor, and they had me come in for an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed that I had two eggs that were ready to ovulate, but they just hadn't made their move yet. They thought it looked like an excellent chance to try an artificial insemination to make sure it's timed correctly. This seemed like a quick decision, but I thought that if they thought it looked ideal, then we'd just go with it! So they instructed me on how to give myself this certain shot (totally can't remember the name of this treatment) and the rest of the procedure.

It all had to be perfectly timed, and I was stressed that something would be off by just enough minutes/hours/moments that this would fail. But I was also just hoping it went well, and even if it didn't work, I was hoping we'd have a positive attitude and move forward.

I had to stay up until like midnight to give myself this shot (can you believe that Steve wouldn't help a girl out and give me the shot?!). The shot was like the last effort for this cycle to make those eggs ovulate. Then Steve had to go in at a certain time the next day to "give his sample," and I had to go in a couple hours later to do the insemination. Luckily, nothing went wrong, traffic was great, and everything went off without a hitch. After the procedure, as I lay in the office letting gravity (and faith, hope, all my will power) do it's job, I felt at peace. I was prepared for whatever result was coming, and we would move forward with faith.

Was there hope on the horizon?
Then we waited. Of course, this whole time I'm just wondering what we would do if we had twins, since the doctor told us there were two eggs ready to ovulate. Whaaa?! Obviously, I wouldn't have minded having two lovely bundles of joy, but it was intimidating. I was trying to keep my hopes grounded in reality. I figured that this procedure is done very nearly to how babies are actually made, so I knew it might take a couple tries to actually conceive. I didn't want to think that just because we had doctors' help that it was going to happen right away.

After waiting the amount of days to take the test, it was that magical morning. The morning I get to pee on a stick. Ahhh, yes. It was definitely magical. Luckily, it was a weekend, so neither of us had to go to work. I was glad so then I wouldn't be extra happy and keeping a secret or extra sad and keeping a secret while I was at work.

After peeing and waiting those few minutes - which weren't that anxious this time because I was really tired and I had slept through them - I looked at the stick. I could not believe my eyes. There was a positive sign! I checked the instructions again to make sure I read them correctly, and then looked at the stick again. It was positive! I made Steve climb out of bed to come and see for himself. Mostly because I didn't know what to say because words were not forming in my brain.

Baby's first picture at just 6 weeks!

It was such an incredible feeling! We weren't expecting it to happen on that first try, so we were speechless! I called the fertility doctor on Monday morning, told them I had a positive test, and they scheduled me for an ultrasound and blood work to confirm my test. And above you can see our sweet baby's very first photo. Steve couldn't go, which was sad. But it was so great to hear the tiny little heart beat beating rapidly. Who knew something so tiny could bring such joy to our lives? After the doctor left the room to let me get dressed, I definitely cried some happy tears. It was really happening.

The doctors and staff at the fertility clinic were so uplifting and excited for us. They gave us a little bottle of sparkling cider, and a card they all signed. Like, seriously?! I never expected such love and support from a doctor, and it was so sweet to know they were thinking of me.

So here we are. Trying to enjoy every fleeting moment of this pregnancy. I love when Steve rubs my baby bump and gives me a hug. He's the sweetest ever, and I know he'll be such a sweet father to our little one.

And here is our sweet little one at her 19 week ultrasound. First of all, can we talk about the amazing technology we have these days?! I think it's so incredible that I can see that much detail so early. But she looks like a cutie to me, and we are so excited to meet her this winter!

If nothing else is gained from me writing this, I hope it brings to light at least a tiny bit of attention to infertility in general. Obviously, I wasn't completely infertile in the true definition. However, it's a problem that invades the lives of so many on so many different levels, yet we won't talk about it. Once people in my life knew about our situation, people came out of the woodwork to show support and encouragement. There were those people that didn't understand and gave unnecessary advice, but there were people that loved me and understood my sorrow, however short-lived it may seem now. Please know that there are other people who are in the same situation and can give you support in your time of frustration and sorrow.

Here are couple blogs I loved reading. These two women (even though they probably don't know I think so) are really amazing and I loved reading their posts. I still read them now because I feel connected to them. I should probably make sure they know that. ;)

Laura is so cool, fresh, and I love looking at her cute crafting adventures: Laurel Lane
Elisha is real and has cute funnies on her blog about infertility: Waiting for Baby Bird

1 comment:

  1. What an awesome testimony!!!!! I just love how God works!! Thank you so much for sharing and I'm so thankful you like my blog. I give God all the glory, honor and praise! Please, please stay in touch! xo


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